Monday 23 April 2018

Dark Fiction - Patterns of Wetness

Patterns of Wetness

By Casey Douglass

Patterns of Wetness

(A story containing horror, sexual stuff and strong language, so stop reading now if that bothers you.)

The two pints hit the table with about as much care as a mistress caning her slave.
‘Jesus Mike! You’ll spill it all!’
Mike dropped onto the bench opposite, a big grin on his face. ‘Never mind the fucking beer, look at the Nookie Booth!’
Arnold twisted his neck to take in the view behind him. Across the pub sat, what was affectionately known as, the Nookie Booth. It was also called the Fuck Seat and Juice Caboose, depending on who was doing the giggling. It had become the go to spot for couples that might just be feeling a bit too frisky for public view. The in-joke was that, even though it was kind of around the bend from the bar, at least half the pub could still see what was going on.
Arnold appraised the couple occupying it now, a pretty thirtyish blonde and her greying male companion. Their lips were locked, their hands pushed deep into the each other's crotch. Arnold turned back to Mike and grinned at Mike’s expression. ‘You perv!’
‘Hey, I’ll take what I can get!’
‘So I’ll spend the whole time we chat talking to the side of your face?’
‘No mate, I’m listening!’
‘Just look at me from time to time then!’ Arnold laughed.
Mike blew his cheeks out, took one last look at the couple and then swivelled his eyes to face Arnold. After a long look he said: ‘You look tired mate.’
‘I am. I’ve not been sleeping well.’
‘Maybe an early night might help?’
‘Hmm, well what I said isn’t quite right. I sleep all the night through, I just don’t feel rested when I wake up.’
‘Any reason do you think?’
‘Strange dreams.’
‘What kind of dreams?’
‘Weird, twisted ones.’
‘Oh yeah?’
‘Not twisted in a sexual sense.’
Mike glanced back at the couple. ‘Woo, I wouldn’t want to be the one to have to clean that booth!’
‘You don’t clean anything Mike, I’ve seen your place!’
‘True, true!’ Mike laughed. ‘So what are these dreams about?’
‘A strange city.’
‘What, like Hull?’
‘No. Not like anything on Earth. This one’s dark and warped, like a really old place that existed before humans were around.’
‘You’ve been reading too much Lovecraft!’
‘I’ve not read any Lovecraft for years! I’ve not read much at all lately.’
‘So what happens in this city?’
‘Nothing. It’s abandoned by the looks of it.’
‘So what do you do in the city?’
Yep. For hours and hours, taking in the sights, breathing the air, watching the lights.’
So it’s not totally dark?’
No, there’s a kind of green halo of light that shimmers high up in the sky. It glints back off the black stone architecture in a really odd way.’
Fucking Lovecraft mate, I’m tellin’ you!’
It’s similar I'll admit, it just doesn’t ring true.’
Hold on a second mate!’
Mike wriggled on his seat and produced his smartphone. He swiped a few times, made it beep, and propped it against his glass on the table. The lens pointed towards the Nookie Booth.
It’s heating up I take it?’ Arnold said.
Mate, let’s just say I can see a sausage and no one ordered a hotdog!’
You’re filming it?’
Of course. You know me. I’m going to put it on xHamster and get a shit ton of views for my channel.’
Oh, the Pub Special of The Day channel?’
You remembered!’
Jesus Mike!’
I blur the faces!’
Mike lowered his face to the screen, nodded and looked back at Arnold. ‘It frees my attention for you though!’
So you walk a lot in this dream city?’
I sure do. Seems like miles and miles.’
Anything jump out at you, architecture wise?’
It all looks the same in a way, like walking on a revolving sphere that gives the illusion of travel. I feel like I’m moving but that everything is the same as I pass it.’
You’re telling me.’
How does it end? Do you wake up while everything is still revolving?’
I get to a plaza of some kind, one with a giant fountain in the middle.’
I’m guessing it doesn’t have a peeing cherub?’
No. It’s a big obelisk thing. It must be hundreds of meters high, and I don’t think the stuff running down it is water. It’s thick and a bit gloopy. A bit like-’
Gironimo!’ Mike sniggered as he looked past Arnold.
I don’t need to know.’
She doesn’t look too happy! Think he broke an agreement, if you know what I mean!’
You know you’ll have my conversation on the audio of your sex video.’
I’ll only upload the visuals Arnold. Relax. I’ll put some jaunty music on it, something from the 70’s to evoke the old British sex film vibe.’
You put far too much effort into all this Mike!’
It’s my passion, what can I say!’
Give me a P. Give me an E. Give me an R-’
Mike retrieved his phone and stopped the recording. As he did so, he asked: ‘So this city, is it scary? Is that why you don’t sleep well?’
No, not in the slightest.’
Well, maybe it’s not the dream, maybe it’s something else making you tired.’
Could be.’
I erm, I should get going,’ Mike said as he downed his pint.
Arnold knew why he wanted to go, knew the rush he was in to upload his bounty. He didn’t mind. Mike was okay. A good guy behind the obsession with filming shit like this. ‘No worries Mike, catch you later.’
Mike smiled, turned and walked away. To his back, Arnold whispered: ‘The only scary thing about the dream city is that I feel more at home there than I ever have here.’
He ran a finger down the condensation on his pint glass and quietly occupied himself by drawing strange patterns of wetness on the dark wood of the table top.


Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed the story, please like and share it on whichever platform you found the link. It would mean a lot to me.