The King of the Hipsters, Happiness by Trouser Rack and Social Awkwardness
 |
| The King of the Hipsters just might live here, you never know. |
On my last visit into
the city center, I had enough amusement to make at least one friend
chuckle in the telling, so I thought I would relate my tale here as
well.
I saw the King of the
Hipsters buying Cadburys Cream Eggs in a Tesco Metro. That sentence
continues to tickle me, it just seems so right. I walked into the
Tesco after scarfing a tasty Burger King, which in light of my post
yesterday about changing my fat git status, kind of takes on the
status of the shouting of some choice expletives moments before a swear
jar comes into force. Anyway, I was craving a drink so in I walk and
see the King, rummaging in the cream eggs. I’m not calling him a
hipster to take the piss, it was just what came to mind. He was
taller than me, larger than me, and his trousers were far tighter
than mine, which isn’t much of a feat as mine were average fit
jeans. He bought his sustenance and left, leaving me with the glow of
having witnessed something special.
Some time later, I was
walking down the street when a gentleman walked past me with some
kind of rack over his shoulder. He was talking into his mobile,
beaming, and saying the word trouser or trousers at least ten times
in five seconds. I remember thinking to myself that there was a happy
customer, and maybe happiness by trouser rack is something I should
investigate, as I don’t have a rack myself.
I popped into Smiths
not long after the rack gentleman passed me and then proceeded to
accidentally upset a lady that seemed to be mentally handicapped. I’m
not sure if that term is accurate and I don’t mean it to be
offensive, but she seemed to be struggling. My own part in things was
as one half of an unwitting “I move here to get out of your way but
you move there to get around me” dance. She seemed to get quite
irate and not just with me but other people who got in her way. I
hate getting into these “dances of politeness” at the best of
times but this one really sucked and made me feel guilty far beyond
what was actually warranted, if any was at all. I was really exhausted by this point which might account for some of it.
Maybe there is an
unwritten rule that two whimsical events must be followed by a shitty
one or the world will spin away into space and freeze somewhere near
Neptune. If so, I say we invoke article Nifty and rewrite that part
of the universal order.
Spanks for reading.
