I Need To Lower My Fat Git Statistics
|The holes kind of look like two eyes. "Why you no eat me? Whyyyy?"|
227.5 would be fantastic if it represented my I.Q, or happened to be the number of book sales I’ve had (although the .5 would be a little strange in both cases no doubt). Sadly, 227.5 is my current fat git weight in lbs, after a really shitty start to the year.
I don’t so much comfort eat as try to ingest happiness in bulk. Sugary, rich and creamy happiness, a kind that would no doubt have long seen me off if I was even remotely diabetic. I know my reasons for eating, the foods that trigger me, and the moods that break my discipline, but sometimes things just slip, despite my best intentions.
As is often the case (I’m always the Case now I come to think of it), taking a bigger (no pun intended) view can be helpful. At my heaviest I was 19 stone, giving me a BMI of 35. Shrugging off weight with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is difficult. Scratch that, it’s bloody difficult. Gone are the days where you can exercise and lift weights to address your over abundance of calories. If you struggle with a ten minute walk, losing it all by dietary means is often the only solution. This is what I did to get from 19 st to my current 16 st.
A BMI of 29 means that I’ve gone from being obese to merely overweight, but to get anywhere near a healthy weight I need to lose another few stone. This is something I am now going to attempt, hence this post to make it feel real rather than some kind of calorie burning wank fantasy. My path, as has been the case before, will be to reduce the comfort eating and then move on to portion control. If I change too much too soon I know from experience that I’ll bounce off it harder than truth off the ignorant.
One area that I do feel I need to spend more time thinking about will be my motivation for losing weight. It’s not a simple topic for me, as I have no illusion that trimming down will increase my self-esteem or ease/cure my health issues (I weighed less than this in the early years of my illness). I’m not even bothered about it supposedly adding years to my life. At the moment, I just have this nebulous feeling that I want to try again, to find some intrinsic reward in the process itself, rather than have my eye on any goal ahead. That is what I am going to do.
As an aside, I heard part of an interesting TED talk by Keith Chen the other day about how the language we speak might decide how much money we save. English is a futured language, we treat the future differently grammar-wise than another language that might have a more blurred approach to time. Futured language speakers tended to save less, due to a possible disconnect caused by speech, whereas the blurred approach languages saved a bit more. I wonder if diet might fall under the same umbrella, short term pain for long term pleasure/reward etc. Maybe I could learn one of these other languages but even then, I don’t suppose it would have quite the same effect as a second language. Guess I’ll stick to the diet idea, for now...