Battle Quest Book Playthrough – Caves of Fury - Part 4
By Casey Douglass
Welcome to Part 4, the
final part, of my adventure through the Caves of Fury. If
you’ve yet to read a single instalment of my barbarian’s tale,
you can find part 1 at this link, with each part leading to the next,
until finally bringing you back to this one again. It’s worth a
read. It’s a tale of paranoia, inadequacy and bastard goblins, to
name only a few elements. You might not like it if you’re an
advocate for goblin rights, but if you are a normal, warped human
being, you’ll agree with me that they are bastards.
Part 3 ended with my
barbarian floating unconscious on a raft in an underground swamp, a
drowning bastard goblin nearby, and little hope of getting much
further. The barbarian had only two Strength left of the six he
started with, and only one treasure to his name, secreted in his
loin-cloth inside the ingenious hidden pocket. Between you and me, I
think he is quite ready to get this adventure over with, his luck has
been terrible from the start. Let’s see if his tale ends with
triumph or a whimper...
The barbarian slowly
regains consciousness and finds the strength to stand. Not feeling
like being a floating-lure for any underwater leviathans, he steps
back onto the stepping stones to continue his trek across the swamp.
There’s no sign of the drowning bastard goblin, which makes him
smile. ‘Good!’ he thinks as he pushes forward into the deepening
mist, the thrumming of mosquitoes and green vapours his only company.
In the same manner as
the previous tunnels, the stepping stones actually split into three
paths. Who’da thunk that would happen? Remembering my resolve to
not keep choosing the middle path, I went with the left one this
time, hoping for something evil to be waiting at the other end. Why
not? It isn’t far down this path that the barbarian spies an
inscription on one of the stepping stones. This is surprising in two
ways. Firstly, that it’s there at all, that someone took the
trouble to mark a stone in the middle of a dangerous swamp. Secondly,
judging by the inscription's length, I realize that I’ve been
imagining these stepping stones as woefully tiny, which irks me a
little. The message has lost some of its letters to erosion but it
says:
‘O, foolish one! It
was one of the oth r brac es that you should have c osen. The mag c
power of fores ght would have been g ven you there.’
Oh for fuck’s sake! A
chance at gaining a bit of magical power goes begging! If I can
believe the message of course. Not much in this place has been
truthful, so why start believing the rock graffiti now? It could be
the equivalent of seeing a “Call Bianca for a good time!” scrawl
in a public toilet cubicle, a mystery very possibly, or more likely some false
advertising at the minimum. None the less, my barbarian ponders
whether to retrace his steps, but on turning sees that the previous
stepping stones have vanished. That figures. Pushing on sees the
stepping stones ahead meet up with the other two paths again, but no
option is given for backtracking down one of those other paths at
this point.
It’s just after the
paths have joined that he hears quiet footsteps coming up behind him.
He wheels around and his mouth falls open. It’s the bastard goblin
again! He swings his sword at the wretched thing’s head. It screams
for him to stop, yelling that it hasn't done him any harm! The gall
of the little prick makes his sword falter. Hasn’t done him any
harm? He almost caused him to drown! The goblin snivels and
says that the barbarian encountered his wicked twin, and that this
one is the ‘good’ one. How convenient! It’s a little like when
politicians say that “they are different” to the ones that have
come before. Be wary in both cases.
You’ll be amazed to
know that this goblin also has advice to give, don't they all? He urges me to step
off the stones and to wade the rest of the way to shore, saying that
it’s shallow enough here. Bollocks to that! There’s no way I’m
going to believe this goblin, even if it isn’t the same one. For
all I know, it might have found out that I let its brother drown and
be out for revenge. I’d rather die due to my own choices than to
being deceived again. I choose not to take his advice.
I push on, not hearing
any sign of discontent or disapproval from the goblin behind me. All
seems okay, but after a few stepping stones, the next one ahead
bursts into flame! Then the next and the next! The book describes the
flames as being two metres high! These are less like stepping stones
and more like Bunsen burner nozzles poking out above the water. I try
to step off to the side but some force is keeping me on the path. My
only option is to run ahead through the flames.
I push through, the
smell (and pain, let’s not forget the pain) of sizzling flesh gives
me uncomfortable flashbacks to the wizard’s scorch and my hungry
stomach. Thankfully, survival is the up-most thing in my mind, ahead
of how tasty I smell. I make it across to the shore and collapse on
to the ground, trying to get my breath and thinking about finding
some mud to soothe my burns. I’ve lost another Strength with all of
that messing around. Only one left and then I’m dead.
As I rest, I find the
goblin standing beside me again, but I don’t have the energy to
throttle it. The book describes his eyes as having a friendly aspect
to them. I guess it’s still the ‘nice one’. He warns me to rest
awhile, and that when I’m ready, there are four monsters that live
here. Two carry swords set with diamond, the other two have swords
set with ruby. Shouting Cragcliff’s name summons the first two,
shouting it twice the other two. I’m not sure I want to be shouting
Cragcliff’s name at all if I’m honest. I notice that saying his
name three times isn’t mentioned, so he isn’t related to
Beetlejuice in that regard.
I ponder a little,
trying to outfox the conundrum of who to summon, as it appears I
can’t just keep my mouth shut. I opt for the diamond bearing
creatures as ruby could signify some kind of fire monster, and I’ve
more than had my fill of being roasted. I yell Cragcliff’s name.
The goblin trembles and runs away. He doesn’t want to see what
happens next. I wait for five minutes, ten minutes, and nothing
happens. Mosquitoes still buzz and whine but everything else is
silent. Until that is, the water glugs, and it comes.
The water bubbles near
the shore, a creature slowly rising from its gloopy surface. It has
black tangles of weed and slime draped over its body, and is holding
a large sword. The book points out that it is holding said sword with
webbed fingers, and that this might be a handicap for it in combat.
Funny that the book is being so helpful all of a sudden. I decide to
fight it and am overjoyed to see that it is another creature that
only needs two wounds to slay it.
It’s a fight that
lasts for fourteen dice rolls. There is much clanking of swords and
plenty of instances where my shield is raised as the swamp creature
just stares at me in disgust. Of course. I should be used to that by
now. On roll thirteen, I wound it with a massive sword slash,
trimming the weed on its left side and carving a deep furrow into its
hip. It mews and bubbles, which is a sound I didn’t really expect
if I’m honest. But regardless, one wound down, one to go! I might
be able to do this after all!
Roll fourteen sees it
run me through with a glugging bellow of rage. Well... shit. My
barbarian looks down at the sword pushed through his abdomen. He
knows it’s protruding from his back too as his legs are numb,
suggesting some kind of damage to his spine. He puts his hand into
his loin-cloth to hold his treasure one more time. His one precious
diamond that is, not what you were thinking.
It had all been for
nothing in the end. He laughs. The funniest thing is that he lost
more Strength in his dealings with devious bastard goblins than he
did in fighting the more obvious monsters. He’d have liked more
time to reflect on that, on another day, in other circumstances, but
now, on this day and in these circumstances, he spat out his last
words before he died: “Bastard goblins!”
The swamp creature
nodded as it let his body fall to the floor with a glug.
***
That’s
the end of my playthrough of Caves of Fury.
I really enjoyed writing about it and injecting my own take on things
into the narrative. As I said at the beginning, I didn’t think it
would go on for so many parts but it did, and it’s a shame it
ended in the way that it did. That being said, I do enjoy bitter
stories and unhappy endings so I can certainly find enjoyment in
that. I hope you did too, if you followed along from the start.
