Dark Fiction - Splash Damage
Written by Casey Douglass
The video-feed fizzes
into life and shows a sea of expectant faces, some smiling, some
nervous, all intent.
‘Hello to all! Thank
you for joining me on this new video-conferencing system. It became
clear that we could no longer trust our communications to stay secure
using the more common ones like Skype et all. So thank you again for
switching to this one.
I won’t waste your
time with more waffling. You should all have your targets by now, the
times the attacks are meant to take place and the tools to create a
payload that will be truly devastating. If anyone is unsure of
anything at all, please contact your group leader before the end of
today and they will put you straight in time for tomorrow's offensive.
Thank you all for
committing to this movement and for being prepared to make the
sacrifices needed to achieve our aims. I am forever in your debt.
Who are we?’
‘The Toileteers!’ a
host of faces shouts, some with fists raised.
‘What is our aim?’
‘To soil any public
or semi-public toilet within thirty minutes of opening, with a
gaseous turd that will linger until at least lunchtime!’
‘What is our motto?’
‘I shit, therefore I
am!’
‘Bless you all and
good luck!’
THE END
The inspiration for
this brief tale is the uncanny way that, when any toilet opens for
the day, be it in a supermarket, a shop, or one of the rare places
that is just a toilet (and no I don’t mean a multi-story
stairwell), some turd-worthy ninja has already been in there and
created a stink that threatens to dissolve the adhesive holding the
wall tiles in place. I can only imagine this is an orchestrated
movement (baddum-tish!) as it is amazing how often I have come across
this phenomena.
