Just recently, the last few days in fact, it gets to about 1pm and my mind seems to want to bed down for the rest of the day. I have to rest allot, its part of my illness, but this mental shutting down has been like clockwork lately. Even if I am relatively well rested, and fancy trying to do something pretty untaxing, like a bit of reading or writing, my mind just doesn’t seem to lock on.
A short moment ago I was looking out
of my window, my mind blank, but not in that pleasant Zen type way.
It was more like the silence that fills a room after someone has let
rip a really loud fart and the whole restaurant has fallen silent in
shock and awe, a kind of tense silence. The thought then arose that
it seemed similar to what Terry Pratchett spoke about in one of his
books (it eludes me which one). In it, he says that ideas are like
particles, shooting through space and falling to earth, with no
regard for where they land or whose mind they may enter. A truly
ground breaking idea, instead of saving humanity, could just as well
end up in a horses head, or even a rock.
When I was staring through
the window, I felt that I might have been close to the state of the
rock, but even worse, I could act on any idea, but would I? Well I
did, as here I am typing this.
If I had a journal, today would
definitely get a nice little entry, double underlined in nice big
capitals. “Today I proved that I am better than a rock.” Although
not at doing rock type things, I’m not that hardcore.
