How To Get Through Night-time Anxiety
By Casey Douglass
Everything seems worse
at night. Those thoughts that, throughout the day, ping off your
mental bullshit detector’s armour, well, they seem to become
armour-piercing sniper rounds that just might make your head explode
at night. No matter what the cause of your anxiety, whether a mental
illness that you are struggling with, or a stressful time in your
life, night-time can really, really suck.
For me, it seems to
link with falling asleep. The number of times I’ve dropped off
feeling relatively okay, only to wake up at two in the morning
flushed with anxiety... let me just say that it’s a lot. It’s a
bit like watching a horror film in which the film-maker somehow made
you forget about the thing hiding in the closet. With anxiety,
jump-scares abound, and they are so much stronger when you are
half-conscious. So how do you get through it?
Don’t Compound Your Misery
There are usually two
aspects to anxiety: The anxiety that arises in response to something,
and our response to that anxiety, which is usually more anxiety. If
you wake during the night, anxious out of your skull, the first thing
to do is to not compound your misery by adding another layer of
distress.
Don’t berate yourself
for feeling afraid, upset, weak, or whatever label you are giving
yourself. Don’t fear the physical manifestations of the anxiety
(the fast beating heart, the shakiness, the banging pulse that you
can hear in your ears etc.). It might be hard, but you’ve probably
been anxious before. Your body does its thing. You really don’t
need to fear how that feels.
If you can accept that
yes, you are anxious about X, and you probably will be for awhile
yet, without adding too much mental chatter or fear, you will shorten
the spell of anxiety, and probably reduce its strength to boot.
Racing Thoughts
Our minds are amazing.
They are also neurotic and skilled machines at creating scenarios to
fear. It probably kept us safe when we had to avoid predators in
prehistoric times, where mistakes often were life and death, but in
modern times, that’s rarely the case. In the early hours of the
morning, fuelled by anxiety, our minds become the paranoid gods of
our misery, presenting us with all kinds of ruminations and outcomes,
to either hope for, or to fear.
If you can, watch the
thoughts without following them too far down the rabbit hole. Maybe
focus on your breathing while you do this. When you are aware that
you’ve lost track of your breathing, you’ve probably been lost in
thought again. If you watch your thoughts for long enough, the cycle
of trying to reassure yourself and scaring yourself will play out
enough times that you may even find it amusing. It’s like, “X
will happen, I’m fucked!” And then “Oh, but if Y happens, I can
get through X!” over and over, like a morbid tennis game, one in
which the ball barely clears the net before it’s sent back to the
other side again.
Reset Your Mind and Body
If you find the
thoughts are too upsetting or overwhelming, and you’ve been
struggling with them for awhile, get up and do something that will
give your mind another focus. Some people won’t like getting up,
but if you’ve been stewing in bed for an hour, what’s half an
hour spent making a hot drink and reading for a little while really
going to cost you?
If you don’t chose to
read, you might want to avoid screen-based things, as these can often
prolong wakefulness. Whichever activity you choose, don’t do it
with the attitude of trying to keep the thoughts away. The harder you
push against them, the stronger they will return. Do whatever you
choose, but do it with the attitude of doing it while the thoughts
are still there. This is acceptance, and while it isn't always easy,
it is a valuable tool in working with anxiety.
The thoughts may
disappear for a few minutes, and then come back, flushing you with
anxiety again. Try to give them a mental nod and carry on reading (or
whatever). After a few anxiety flushes, you might even notice that
the thoughts don’t seem to hit with the same force any more. If you
do experience this, you are probably entering a virtuous circle in
which your mind and body begin to calm down. After awhile, you will
probably feel like you might want to try sleeping again, so have a go
if it feels right.
Decide Not to Decide
This is a short one but
well worth mentioning. It’s never really advisable to try to make
decisions and judgments during the night either, as they will likely
be anxiety-based. Keep that kind of thing for the morning. And
speaking of morning...
Always Darkest Before Dawn
If all else fails, try
to keep in mind that you will likely feel a bit better once morning
comes. No matter how shitty the night I’ve had, once it starts to
get light, I get up, make a cup of tea and have breakfast in bed. I
think eating probably helps the body shift mode, and by the time I’ve
read for a little while, my mind feels more settled, and my body
feels less tense. It’s happened to me often enough that, sometimes,
it’s the only sentiment I can hold on to as the night progresses,
and it usually turns out to be true.
***
There are no easy fixes
for anxiety, nothing is guaranteed to work for everyone, all of the
time, but the approaches above are all things that have worked for me
time and again. As a matter of fact, I used them a couple of nights
ago, and I use various aspects of the above on a daily basis in my
general approach to my anxiety and ocd.
If you feel a question
bubbling in your mind about any of this anxiety stuff, feel free to
get in touch, either below, or by finding me on social media. Even if
not, just come and say hi if you want, it’s lonely online at
times. Also, please give this a share/like if you feel it was worth reading, then maybe other people might see it who otherwise wouldn't. Thanks :).
