My website is 3 years
old today. Much like last year, I will use it as a measuring stick to
see how far I’ve come, what I might have achieved and how close to
madness I came.
I will start with
looking at my hopes of a year ago and seeing if they were met. I laid
out some very numbers-based goals for number of posts done, Twitter
followers gained and site traffic reached. I met some, failed to
reach others, but I find myself not really caring as they miss the
point. They are just a metric to measure one aspect of what is going
on; they shouldn’t be goals in and of themselves.
The biggest thing for
me from a writing perspective was finally going self-employed as a
freelance writer. The manner in which it came about was incredibly
stressful and my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder damn near killed me in
the trying, but months on, I am slowly getting a handle on things. I
am also getting paid work which is also very helpful but is taking
some getting used to.
Shortly after going
freelance, I got my Dark Distractions Anthology onto the Amazon
Kindle Store, which was another milestone for me. Of course, this
site is no longer called Dark Distractions but I liked the name
enough to keep it for my writing. I wanted my site address to be
relate-able to my own name, especially if people might see some of my
writing and decide to Google me.
I have continued my
writing for Geek Syndicate and enjoyed the various things coming my
way to review. I am heartened to see G.S go from strength to strength
and for Barry and Dave to be rewarded with their BBC iPlayer shows
and interviews. I also want to thank the site for giving me something
to do when other things have seen my mind whirling away in fear and
anxiety; it was a great way to keep writing, which was the most
important thing for me.
Another notable event
was being invited onto BBC Radio 4’s Digital Human show to talk
about how my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder affected my use of
technology. It was a great experience and even though not much of my
interview was used in the end, I appreciated the opportunity to put
into words things that I struggle with on a day to day basis.
One area that has
really taken off is the amount of contact I have with writers and
musicians who would like me to review their work. I have thoroughly
enjoyed writing my dark ambient music album reviews and it is always
a great feeling to have music that I enjoy listening to coming to me
for a change, rather than having to hunt things out for myself. That
probably makes me sound very lazy but I just like to think it’s
having a relaxed attitude to entertainment.
My fiction writing has
continued in fits and starts, partly due to adjusting to more article
and news writing, and partly due to horrendous energy levels and the
anxiety it causes me to embark on a larger piece of work. If writing
flash fiction and short stories is like gently pootling about in a
row-boat just off the beach, writing a novella or novel is like
rowing out to sea and losing sight of land for weeks. It’s
something I will get on top of but as of yet have not taken steps in
that direction.
If the year before
last, someone had told me I would have been a freelancer and have a
book on the Kindle Store by now, I would have said yes please and
taken it gladly. As it is, I’m pleased but it’s hard to feel too
cheerful about it. I know intellectually I have done it, but it feels
like my heart hasn’t accepted it. I won’t fret about what I’m
feeling or not feeling though and will just carry on taking steady
steps towards being the writer I would like to be.