Friday, 31 January 2014

Dark Fiction - First World Problems

First World Problems

By Casey Douglass

as part of #fridayflash


The half-eaten jam tart slipped through the clasping fingers, the sticky digits closing together an instant too late as it entered free-fall. It flipped and turned lazily in the electric glow of the kitchen lights, the semi-loose metal foil holder glinting as it caught the yellow beams. Down it fell, a graceful arc of sweet pastry deciding to end its existence and avoid the digestive fate that had befallen its other half.
It hit the floor with a dull thump, the shiny silver metal uppermost, the pastry and strawberry jam kissing the slightly hairy carpet tiles. The red sugary pulp seeped out through a small crack in the side; a pool of blood around a suicide.
Neighbours three doors down heard the almighty expulsion; a string of swear words so profoundly wrong, that an old lady swooned and a Labrador soiled his masters bed.
Nothing would ever be the same again.

THE END

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12 comments:

  1. hahaha.... love this one dude. :)

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    1. Based on a true story too lol. I did drop my jam tart, didn't swear though :)

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  2. Wow! that half a jam tart must have meant an awful lot to them. :-)

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    1. Yes, it was far more than just some old pastry :).

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  3. Having a step-father who was a former drill sergeant, I really appreciate the true power of the 'almighty expulsion,' from first-hand experience. This story made me laugh quite a bit. Still kinda feel bad for the pooch though...

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    1. Thanks :). I thought it sounded better than just telling what was really said lol.

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  4. Lol well it's pretty devastating to lose half of one's jam tart! Thanks for the smile this morning. I loved this sentence: " a graceful arc of sweet pastry deciding to end its existence and avoid the digestive fate that had befallen its other half."

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    1. The only thing I failed to include were the crumbs. Oh blimey the crumbs it made! :).

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  5. True fact: the chances of a pastry landing jam-side-down is directly proportional to the hairiness of the carpet tiles.

    Fun!

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  6. This one made me LOL for real! :D

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    1. Glad to hear it. I might have to write two more and call them the Pastry Trilogy lol.

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