The Mixed Blessings of Celebrity Crushes
Written By Casey Douglass
Have you got one? One celebrity that seems to light up your life? Maybe you have a handful, a menagerie that rotate around depending on who might be in a current film or TV series? Either way, I seem to have three. At times, they bring escape, solace or pleasant dreams. At other times, they can bring feelings of depression, hopelessness and loneliness. The media seems to portray crushes at only the extremes, the screaming fans passing out at concerts with tears on heir cheeks or the psycho stalker that might break into someone’s home. Most people will almost certainly sit somewhere in the middle, quietly spending the odd minute, film or TV episode lost in wistful thoughts about their crush.
|Image © Copyright 20th Century Fox|
|Image © Copyright Contender Films|
|Image © Copyright Century Media Records|
So there we have it, the three women I have never met that manage to enchant me and warrant the term “crush”. At times, with my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I can get very low indeed. Having these crushes can sometimes be very helpful, a way to brighten my day even though I know they are just based on 99% fantasy and maybe only 1% of knowing the real person being swooned over. I went through a stage where I had an elaborate fantasy about my writing involving Gillian Anderson, all played out with a play list created from music artists like Chase and Status, Tinie Tempa and Inner Party System on my iPod. It became my escape from my shitty illness, frustrations and other issues, even though I knew that it was probably not helping anything either.
On the other hand, these kinds of crush can just serve to make you feel even more lonely or low. I had a time where I couldn’t stand to listen to that aforementioned play list because it just made the difference between my reality and my fantasy too painful to bear. I have had times where I have bought films featuring Gillian or Eva and then taken months to watch them because I don’t want the bitter-sweet feelings they will probably cause in me. When I saw Lacuna Coil live, I was on a high while being there but was in a hell of a funk for days afterwards, struggling to listen to their Cd's for maybe a month afterwards. This is the downside, and even being aware of what is going on doesn't always immunise you to the downward swing in mood.
I hope that the above doesn't make me sound like an obsessed loser or pathetic dreamer. It’s just really me thinking over what I get out of having celebrities that I can pine over. As you can see above, it’s certainly a mixed bag when it comes to the pros and cons. The thing is, I couldn’t change it if I wanted to. I use my feelings about these people who I know next to nothing about as a guide as to how I am in myself. If I find myself withdrawing from things and thinking about them more, chances are I need to address something in myself. If I don’t think of them much at all, I am probably more engaged with the “real” things in my life. Maybe that’s the most valuable thing I get out of the situation, seeing myself in a celebrity enhanced mirror and knowing what the reflected images mean.
Thank you for reading.